MUSINGS BY JOAN #29

Was there ever a time when I didn’t depend on the internet to connect me to my business, my family, my friends. . . the outside world???? I know it was probably not much more than a decade ago, but it seems like forever. I am as addicted to checking my e-mail as any heroin addict and today I am suffering from serious withdrawal.

Comcast, the company that prides itself on the “blazing speed” of its internet connections, has been down to a slow crawl in my computer for the past three weeks. Crews of technicians turn up every few days, spend time (a) at my computer in my den/office, (b) behind my dresser in my bedroom, (c) peering into the air conditioning closet out in the hall, and (d) huddled together in the electrical room across from my apartment. They shake their heads, talk back and forth in totally incomprehensible Spanish, and leave, always promising to return, God knows when. I gather they are looking for a lost splitter. At the rate they are going, it would be quicker to find the lost city of Atlantis.

As of 8am this morning the slow crawl came to a total halt, and along with it, my telephone service. Blessed be my cell phone, without that, I would cease to exist today. At the moment, it is 3 o’clock in the afternoon, and I am waiting (not so) patiently for the supervisor, Rudy, to show up with his crew and see if they can work some magic to help the situation. He definitely knows I exist. He has at least ten messages on his cell phone from me, each more pathetic than the last..

Rule #1, should this catatrophe happen to you, be sure to get the supervisor’s cell phone number and that of any tech who seems to have a clue what he is doing. This allows you to circumvent calling Comcast’s main number about your problem and the resulting necessity to give up your mother’s maiden name, the street where you grew up, and your first born child, before you are allowed to speak to a live human being, somewhere in Mombasa, who immediately puts you on hold.

Do I sound bitter? You’re damned right. I know this is the day that some potential client has called with an incredible job and needs it immediately and is willing to pay heavily for my priceless service. Except that my phone isn’t working and neither is my computer, so by this time he’s crossed me off his list and gone on to the next name. I think I may cry. Actually, I am saving the tears for Rudy, if and when he ever appears. I plan to pull out all the stops so that he feels so guilty about this poor old lady’s problem that he never leaves until I am back on the internet and receiving lost phone calls.

Obviously, this blog will not be posted today. When and if you do get to read this, you will know that thanks to Rudy, I am back on line, I've gotten my e-mail fix, and all’s right in my cyber world.

For the right price, I might even sell you his cell phone number.
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Caption: Back on line and back in the world. Amen.