MUSINGS BY JOAN #19


It occurred to me recently that people from all over the world spend a fortune to visit South Beach and we haven’t set foot there since Benard’s 17 year old grand-daughter came to Miami with three friends and couldn’t wait to visit what they obviously considered Nirvana On The Atlantic. If I remember correctly, they also couldn’t wait to get rid of us once we got there. Incidentally, that grand-daughter just completed her third year of medical school, which gives you a rough idea of how long ago that visit occurred.

Why do I mention this? Because I am in the process of creating a “to do” list for Benard and me. If we’re not going to visit the polar bears in the Arctic this summer, (“1 on my travel wish list) or take a luxurious cruise to some foreign port, we are at least going to check off my list of South Florida places I’ve been meaning to visit, or in some cases, revisit, after many years..

My significant other is a remarkably patient man. He just smiles as I rattle on about new additions to my list. Since he has to accompany me on these adventures, he deserves extra points for going along with some of my stranger destinations.

Here’s a short list that is open to daily revision::

1. Take an airboat ride in the Everglades and eat lunch at the Seminole Indian reservation. See alligators. Try not to get attacked,

2. Drive to Cassadega in the middle of the state and visit with some of the 270 psychics that
live in this fascinating little community. (We did this when we first met more than 12 years ago and the psychic that Benard communed with asked him “Does the name Joan mean anything to you???? How could you not love this place?.)

3. Actually spend an afternoon at one of our condo community’s three swimming pools and maybe even get wet. Just kidding. Only if there’s a total eclipse of the sun. Then I may consider putting on a bathing suit.

But back to South Beach. One of the items on my list was to have lunch on Ocean Drive at one of the many chic sidewalk cafes that march down the non-ocean side of that fabled thoroughfare as far the eye can see. We did that last Saturday. It was a hoot.

First we had to make a decision as to which café to choose. This decision was taken out of our hands by the young man hawking the café at the Colony Hotel. His salesmanship was awesome. His charm unmatched . He had us at the mention of the $6.99 Lunch Special. (We found out later that iced tea and lemonade cost more than the lunch, but by then we were having too much fun to care.) Anyway, we succumbed to his mesmerizing pitch and were seated at a table for two, right on the sidewalk, with a 180 degree view of the passing parade, coming and going, .

You had to be there to fully appreciate the diversity of South Beach tourists. In a brief overview. and I do mean brief. . .they come in all shapes and sizes with an incredible amount of t & a.. Some spectacular. Some should have looked in the mirror before they ventured out. Tattoos are definitely mainstream these days. So are teeny tiny bikinis, huge designer handbags and small yappy dogs.

We spent two hours over lunch and enjoyed every minute. Next time I’m going to try one of those giant-size Mojitos that the couple at the next table were drinking. Hopefully we’ll get back there sometime soon. I have a great idea! Why don’t you come and visit us. . .we’ll give you the tour. I’m sure our new friend at the Colony Hotel Café will be happy to welcome us back. We’re old hands at this South Beach stuff now.

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Photo: A view of Ocean Drive on South Beach. I stole it off the web, that's why there is writing across it! Sorry about that.